
Whilst in the caravan and with few visible possessions I mused a lot about the loss of all things - learned hard lessons about holding loosely to the value of material wealth and learned to rejoice in the freedom of possessing little. It is not an easy lesson to learn - but this week seems to have tested how easy it is to forget!
In the frustration with people I became short sighted - the loss of the car seemed hugely important: I got angry and I got churlish with God. The prayer was something like this: "it is not fair - I don't mind losing the big things, I don't mind having left friends and family because that was for gospel reasons - but this, this is so petty, insignificant and unnecessary: why would you do this to us? Surely we deserve better than this..."
At this point I saw that my heart had promoted me once again to the winning position in 'Andy Idol': I wanted to worship at the altar of my own comfort and appease my anger at inconvenience. It is not that God punished us because of this (no, that would be to believe an inverted prosperity gospel!) but simply in the circumstances my heart's true colours were made plain to me (and I fear the rest of you in the blog post below).
One good friend (by God's Sovereign grace) reminded me via email of two passages to Scripture that came to mind Tuesday evening shortly after the car was driven away, but these Scriptures were driven away from my mind by my idolatrous self-pity.
"you cheerfully accepted the plundering of your possessions, knowing that you yourselves possessed something better and more lasting. " Hebrews 10.34
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust+ consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal." Mathew 6.19
In moving into our house, beginning to feel more settled and filling it with the things that make everyday life possible - you know what? - I began to look to the things that we were acquiring (the very things that rust, mould and rot away - especially in the heat and humidity of Auckland!) for security. How stupid is that?
The answer to that question - is 'totally and incredibly': in Christ we posses something of far greater worth and of an eternally more lasting nature.
Remember Jesus - I should tattoo it on my fore head in mirror language so it's there everytime I look at myself.
Remember Jesus - giving up the riches of heaven for the sake of saving sinners like us and making us saints.
Remember Jesus - who chose the cross and its shame looking to the joy of possessing the inheritance of the saints for all eternity.
Remember Jesus - who having given us himself will not stinge or scrape in the provision of all else that we need.
Remember Jesus.Remember Jesus.Remember Jesus.This is a PS - but as we were facing the loss of the car there were other saints facing bigger battles more faithfully: check out http://desiringgod.org/library/fresh_words/2006/021506.html