Righteous Ambition?

[Jesus] also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 18.9-14

I recently came to a terrible realisation: and it's all about ambition and direction. In reading the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector we all know that Jesus is contrasting the Pharisee's approach with that of the tax collector - the Pharisee is wrong and the tax collector is made right with God.

But as I read and thought about it recently I realised something which appalled me. I want to be like the Pharisee. Not pompous, overly self important and showy - but I want to be able to recount how good I am, to have measurable progress and to show that God has made a difference in my life. But in really reading the parable I see that Jesus told it against those or for those who trust in their own righteousness.

The tax collector knows that his only hope is the mercy and grace of the Sovereign LORD. His appeal is not on the basis of what he has to offer, but on the basis of God's nature and character: he doesn't recount what he has done he speaks to God of WHO God is and what He can do.

I came to Christ a 'tax collector' - the words of an old hymn put it so well:

Nothing in my hand I bring,

Simply to the cross I cling;

Naked, come to Thee for dress;

Helpless look to Thee for grace;

Foul, I to the fountain fly;

Wash me, Savior, or I die.

But somewhere along the way my ambition changed - I want to have something to bring, something to hold, something to offer. I wouldn't have put it like that, wouldn't have been so crass to express it but as I read God's Word that's what I saw - plain and bald in my heart my ambition was to be like a Pharisee.

So what do I do? I realise my state: the very ambition to be like the Pharisee is something wretched and wrong - it leads to pride and self-centredness, sin in the heart and sin in relating to others.

In the same passage Jesus speaks of becomming like a child to gain God's kingdom, of losing all riches to be saved, of his death and resurrection and speaks to a man who cries out "Son of David have mercy on me" saying "your faith has made you well".

A broken hearted child, I run, crying and trusting to my Father.
An impoverished man, I call on the Lord to give me all I need.
As a man whose sight is restored, according to God's mercy, I know that throwing myself on the weight of his promises removes the weight of my sin and brings healing and cleansing.

Another hymn, that I've quoted before, comes to mind - it expresses the prayer of the tax collector well.

Sinful, sighing to be blessed;

bound, and longing to be free;

weary, waiting for my rest:

God be merciful to me.

-

Goodness I have none to plead,

sinfulness in all I see,

I can only bring my need:

God be merciful to me.

-

Broken heart and downcast eyes

dare not lift themselves to thee;

yet thou canst interpret sighs:

God be merciful to me.

-

From this sinful heart of mine

to thy bosom I would flee:

I am not mine own, but thine:

God be merciful to me.

-

There is One beside the throne,

and my only hope and plea

are in him and him alone:

God be merciful to me.

-

He my cause will undertake,

my interpreter will be;

he's my all; and for his sake,

God be merciful to me.

Amen. Ambition corrected. Sinner Humbled. Child Welcomed. Sight Restored. Hallelujah! Amen.