Notes from a seminar given at TSCF Northern Region Student Easter Camp
What does it mean to be a man and how do we know? The recent online survey had 53 responses, a small sample but significant enough to make some informed generalisations. What did the guys say they understand about what it means to be a man?
It’s interesting to note that very less than 10% of those who answered said that the size of their penis significantly impacts how they understand themselves to be male. It’d be great if the authors of spam email around the world would take note of that and stop sending invitations to use medication or contraption in order to increase our ‘manhood’! But what does it mean to be a man, what are the choices that we are making? What is informing how me make those choices?
What follows is a series of media images from the last 40 years – each specifically presenting masculine/male images and the shift in what the media is portraying is significant and somewhat obvious.
1970’s
The rough and ready man – where ‘skin’ is shown it is in a broader context and not necessarily sexualised. This is also countered by glam-rock and punk (not shown!). Men were men, even when counter-culturally so.
1980’s
Older men made it in main stream media, 80’s cool was about being funny, rich, powerful, daring and attractive.
1990’s
Media images began to become more ambiguous as did the picture of masculinity – from the irresponsible ‘men of men behaving badly’ and the bad boys of Oasis through to the androgyny of Gautier and the overt sexuality of the 90’s Speedo guy.
2000’s
The new century has brought in hugely sexualised images of semi-clothed and near naked men into the mainstream of advertising: images that 40 years ago may well have been hidden inside the covers of sexually explicit publications are now (dis)gracing advertising hoardings, the front pages of fashion magazines and high profile TV scheduling. The physicality of ideal masculinity is now un-naturally lean, muscular, youthful and sexualised. Imaging techniques that objectified women are now being used with equanimity on the male form.
What makes us men? What makes us who we are? Is it body image – what we see of ourselves in comparison to others? Is it our self-worth, how we rate ourselves? If it is what are we rating ourselves on? Is it our physical prowess – are we the hunter gatherers and adventurers that we think we need to be? Do we judge ourselves on our life achievements? Grades, certificates, promotions and positions held? Do we judge ourselves on our familial reputation and our standing in the community? Where do we go to rate ourselves? How do we rate ourselves at all?
The survey looked at one aspect of our self-rating system and it turns out that most of us are OK with how we look BUT there is still a significant 30% who express a sense of dissatisfaction with their body image.
But that is not all we face, our sense of self in a complex and fallen world is impacted by all sorts of issues we face in our day to day living. Another area that the survey looked at was sexuality/sexual experience.
Looking at the figures there is a clear sense that many of the men face a sense of being controlled by sexual desire, compelled/addicted behaviours in relation to pornography and express a significant sense of defeat in seeking to live in a way that is in line with the way Scripture teaches.
But that’s one of the issues too isn’t it? What does the Bible teach? We need to clear some ground there, don’t we. There are so many ‘expert’ voices: search Google and you will find ‘Christian’ perspectives from every end of the spectrum. How do we begin to make sense of it all? Is there a solid reality we can rely on?
A seminar like this one can only skim the surface of the necessary ground. This is the briefest of overviews, which is only about providing a framework/perspective from which to begin to make sense of our lives.
We need to look again and to look with well-focussed eyes. Starting by looking at what God’s intention in the initiation of humanity into creation helps us to see how things were meant to be. Looking at how we got to where we are: firstly looking at how God has dealt with the rejection of his plan and purpose helps us to understand how things are as they are now; secondly looking at how God has provided through the person, work, life, death and resurrection of Jesus helps us to understand the most helpful response to who we are. Finally looking to what the Bible teaches about our ultimate destinies gives us a sense of eternal perspective on our lives and, in Christ, points us to hope and certainty for the future.
Let’s take a look at each of these lenses in a bit more detail.
God creates and declares the creation ‘good’. This is the One True God, who Himself defines goodness – his declaration of goodness is not ‘she’ll be right’ or ‘it’ll do’ but a great declaration of health and wholeness.
Humanity is formed by God’s hand and declared ‘very good’ and told to reproduce (i.e. have sex) so there is no shame, guilt or anything wrong in created order. The only thing not good is ‘aloneness’ and Eve is presented to Adam as a complement and partner in serving God: unity ensues in relationship – a biding and enduring unity which is God given.
But this is not the world in which we live. What we see in the narrative of Genesis 3 is the rejection and destruction of the created order. Eve is tempted and rejects God’s rule, Adam stands by a passive and then willing participant in the overthrow of God’s intention. Both are impacted as God judges them – alienated from God, each other and God’s intended purpose for them they are to live under the rule of frustration and alienation. Their lives are to be lived out under toil and pain with only a hint of hope: that there would be someone who would come and crush the head of the tempter/serpent. Through the ages that follow many might appear to be that serpent crusher only themselves to be disqualified by being ‘bruised’ by the tempter himself. There would come a day though when a son of Eve would arise who could take the bruise and still live.
This son of Eve is Jesus, who is the New Adam (Rom 5) who provides a new beginning, a new way of relating to God because he is not subject to the disqualification of sin. He is the Son of Man, one who is fully human and yet without sin because this son of Eve is also the Son of God – the effective rescuer. He alone can provide for a new way to relate to God through acting at the Great High Priest paying for sin, through his own death on the cross. He pays a price that all other sons and daughters of Eve could not pay for themselves – as the New Beginning, the New Adam, he offers a new way to relationship with God. This cleansing knows no boundaries in dealing with the sin of men and women – there is no depth of sin it cannot reach, no height of rebellion it cannot pull within in its cleansing, no extremity of sin into which sinners can plunge themselves that the cross does not extend to. Jesus went to the cross and the grave only to defeat it, disarm it and destroy it. He rose from death never to be subject to it again. He ascended into heaven to reign as the great Reconciler – in whom God is bringing all things into right relationship with Himself.
The final ‘correcting lens’ is that of the end of all things. Sin will be judged and hell, death and even Satan himself will be destroyed. The image of the new creation is one which is totally without corruption or degradation. In the New Creation those who have trusted in Christ will be made like Him in His purity: sin will be no more and there will be no more possibility of sin.
These lenses don’t just change how we see, they transform how we understand, respond, live and grow. They can be applied to every area of life, faith, identity, service, etc, etc. In the survey men had the chance to outline areas that they thought the seminar should cover: if we were to spend time on each area then the seminar would become a 4 week, full-time, 8am-10pm conference.
4 areas that were specifically outlined (and even then we don’t have time to cover any in detail) were:
How do the 4 lenses apply to each of these issues? A case study of one of the issues…
Masturbation is a major issue for the men answering the survey – if the statistic is expandable then the vast majority of men face masturbation and identify it as a struggle and at best unhelpful if not sinful.
Looking at it through the 4 lenses:
- Sex is given by God to humanity as a shared expression of their unity. Sex was not given as a solo activity, masturbation is solo sex: thus not part of God’s intended purpose in the expression of sexuality.
- In the fallen/sinful nature of life alienated from God masturbation does not simply serve as an expression of lust (thought admittedly it does at least do that) but also as a means of shortcutting to comfort when lonely, bored or even angry. As a mechanism of self-comfort it short-cuts a correct response to our own humanity (our need for satisfying friendship) and also a correct response to God’s call to relationship.
- The Cross and resurrection of Jesus has dealt with sin and opens the way for those who respond in faith to be filled with the life and power of the Holy Spirit. We are reconciled to God and indwelt by Him and thus our bodies are not our own: we are not only freed to live in His power we are enabled to will and to do what is right. We are not subjected to slavery to our desires – there is the possibility of freedom. What is more we are part of a community of the people of God: we live for Him as men in community, not a man alone. We need not fight battles without help: why do we not talk about masturbation in helpful ways, encouraging and supporting one another as we flee the things which entrap us and pursue the things which bring life and freedom?
- Eternity is the promise of Life in Christ without the impact of sinfulness, or rather, with the Righteousness of Christ in our lives in all its fullness: we will neither want sin nor live sinfully. There will be nothing lacking in us as we will be totally reconciled to Him, there will be hint or shadow of sinfulness in who we are. There will be no lust, loneliness, boredom or any other need in us that could be shortcut through masturbation. Masturbation will not be part of our eternal life precisely because it arises out of the brokenness of sinfulness.
Through the 4 lenses we see that we are freed – freed to live to please God, not ourselves. We are also freed from the guilt and condemnation which so often compounds the issues and frustrates our efforts to live self-controlled, God-honouring lives.
How do the lenses change the way we view the other issues. There is not time here to go into each of these. Is there a passage that helps us to understand in general how we apply these in specific?
1 Corinthians chapter 6 speaks with disturbing clarity…
Are you on the list? I’m sure, with absolute certainty, that you are because it is universal in it’s grasp. The sexually immoral – everyone who’s ever had a lustful thought, acted on lust or acted out sexually – are on the list. Idolaters – anyone who has ever placed anything in the place of God in their lives, looking to anything other than God for security – are on the list. Taken something that wasn’t yours? Had too much to drink? Let your self go and done what you wanted rather than what you know to be right? Tricked someone for your own betterment? All of this would exclude you and me from the Kingdom of God: and it would do so fatally. It would also exclude men who have homosexual sex – but note they are in the list alongside all the rest: not singled out on their own: but they are there.
So it there no hope? If you finished reading here it would seem no hope at all, but READ ON…
Do you see it? Do you see the hope? First the church has always had men like us in it - ‘such were some of you’. Two thousand years ago – in an age without internet, printed media, advertising, pornographic writing and a music obsessed with sex – men faced the issues that we face. Sure those issues had different expressions and took place in a different context but those were the issues none the less. And what is the hope? It is that the death and resurrection of Christ washes (sin away) and makes clean (sanctifies)and makes us right with God (justifies) in a way which supersedes the condemnation that should be rightly ours. If we are in Jesus – Paul says elsewhere – there is now no condemnation.
But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy.
The battles are fierce but they are winnable. Our weaknesses are real but they are not beyond the strength of the good news about Jesus to save and transform us. Our sinfulness has led and may leads us into real failure – but there are no failures that are beyond the saving reach of the cross.
If we are to be Men, then let us be Men of God – defined in Him and living to His glory!
Posts
